Childhood Sexual Abuse Causes Physical Brain Damage: An Alarming New Study
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A New Study Casts Light on the Terrible Darkness of the Incest Survivor..
It is estimated that childhood sexual abuse affects over 40 million people yearly, just in the United States alone. To those of you, like myself, who struggle daily with symptoms and defense mechanisms aquired from childhood incest, this study will prove especially enlightening. It will also, hopefully soften the attitude of family members and close friends who must endure the drama of the survivor. So many times I have heard well-meaning people state, "Just move on and forget about it," or the more judgmental, "You're just CHOOSING to be unhappy."
The problem is not that survivors want to stay miserable--new research indicates that childhood sexual trauma causes actual shrinkage and damage to the part of the brain called the hippocampus. This finding in itself is shocking and astounding. The hippocampus deals with learning, stress responses and memory. When brain stressors such as early sexual abuse and incest impact its development in children, the lasting effects into adulthood can be profound. Pop-up memories, intrusive, negative thoughts, flashbacks and a kind of over-all numbing called disassociation are just some of the symptoms this causes. To anyone who like myself has experienced incest recall "popping up" while they are pushing a grocery cart, this can be devastating and difficult to treat even with the best of therapists.
Some of the symptoms associated with the shrinkage of the hippocampus feed into what is known as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. This bag of disturbing "tricks" the mind plays on survivors includes flashbacks, feeling uneasy and "on edge," and on guard constantly, nightmares, and general problems associated with memory. Gaps in memory can also occur, for a few minutes to a few days. This may well explain the emergence of abuse memories suddenly "popping up" at a later age in a survivor's life. The hippocampus also affects the part of the brain called the prefrontal cortex, where stress responses are absorbed and dealt with.
Incest survivors have a far more serious response to stress than those who have not experienced severe childhood abuse. I, for one, have to get more sleep than what is normal in order to function in a stable manner. I also need down time in which to think, dream and generaly detach from outside stressors. This need can appear to others as being "lazy" or even "spoiled." Think of the Incest Survivor as a very sensitive child in an adult body. The child has to be protected constantly in order to thrive and feel "safe."Again, this is not coddling oneself. With brain damage as a side effect of such abuse, all survivors need to watch and monitor their stress responses carefully. One of my favorite sayings is, "I'm not hiding from life...I'm healing from it."
We all admire injured or disabled athletes for jogging or walking at their own pace. We think of them as brave and heroic. In this same manner, the Trauma Victim needs to be viewed in a positive light, not judged for pulling away when they need to. Quiet "down time" can be very healing and soothing. Or as a friend of mine said (who experienced Satanic Ritual Abuse as a little girl} "I don't need dramas or roller coasters. Inside, I AM a roller coaster."
The work Dr. Bremner conducted took place at the Yale Psychiatric Institute, and is available at the following link: www.lawandpsychiatry.com/html/hippocampus.htm. Actual loss of neurons related to stress in this vital part of the brain has been documented in his work.
Note: For many of us--myself included--extensive therapy is very helpful and can be life-saving. However, for those of us who do not possess the health coverage and means for regular therapy, a local Incest Survivors Group may provide a supportive, healing environment. Groups may differ, and you may have to shop around for the appropriate setting in which to heal. I personally hooked up with a powerful group in Southern California and am the better person for it. Our Group Moderator was a ritual abuse survivor who was literally tortured sexually for many years and now teaches other survivors to let their "inner child" play and heal.
Dr. Bremner is still on the Faculty at Yale--I recommend his article, "Does Stress Damage The Brain?"
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Thank you. It was painful to write this in some ways, but when I think of all the children who are undergoing what I went through, my blood starts to somewhat boil.
GarnetBird, I don't find that at all surprising. If your brain is constantly dealing with fear, hyper-reactions and startle responses related to fear, for a long enough period of time, of course it is going to be effected. Reoccurring negative experiences cause anticipation, and fear is part of that anticipation. The associations can be powerful and strong. I often am afraid of people who actually have no power over me, and I feel exreme fear every time i take a stand about anything, even though I know I have to do it. All this makes perfect sense to me. Good read. (: v
I can totally relate to everything you've said--this research I found online has really helped me become more patient with myself! Thank you, Valerie!
GarnetBird, what an educational article you have written. It amazes me, however, that some find it so hard to understand the life-long problems that stem from incest and sexual abuse of a child. General observation of such victims makes it more than obvious that they have suffered life altering events. That they are forever damaged and will spend their lives trying to handle all the hardships of their abuse. I suppose some just don't want to develop an empathetic attitude because it is easier to think getting over such a dramatic situation is akin to recovering from a broken bone. Good job in explaining the difference and making it clear this is no small matter, that is short in duration.
Thank you for sharing this information! It explains a lot of the struggles I have had as I grow older. I have "gotten over" the abuse, but memories do still pop up here and there and my response to stress is pretty weird sometimes.
I have bizarre responses to stress and the intrusive memories, which have gotten worse despite therapy and writing a book about it..it seems to have a life of its own! Take care and thank you for reading this!
GarnetBird,
thank you for posting it - I am still in the middle of processing of being an incest victim, remembering it after 20+ years of complete amnesia. My family doesn't believe me, they say something as horrible as this I SHOULD have remembered. This study explain why I didn't.
Ksenia
i was a victim to molestation when i was a lttle girl and the one person i loved the most pick my father (the molester) over me. i am still stuggling taking depression pills well now im not but im spost to and my depressions getting worse im having memory loss and more this was very use full thanks
Be patient and KIND to yourself! You deserve it. Thanks so much for reading this. I can relate to everything you've said!
Thank you for drawing attention to this. I especially appreciate it since recently I was censored for defending victims because I strongly protested the claim that victims like to "play the victim" long after abuse occurs. I hope they are reading this.
The brain really has to heal, but if the hippocampus has been damaged, healing may never take place the way the survivor and everyone else wants it. My symptoms got worse as I aged, something that shocked me, which is why I wrote Lake of Shame. Loved your comment!
Wonderful article, you wrote it succinctly. I believe your article also helps those with mental illness because it seems to me if the hippocampus is affected with sexual abuse then the brain is reacting in a similar fashion when a person has eg. schizophrenia. Anyway , I will also use the link you provided. Thanks, more people need to become aware of the needs of others who have experienced this type of truama. I say I don't need reality TV because I am stuck in a Jerry Springer saga with the family God gave me. Thank s again for drawing a much needed light on a very complicated issue. Best of luck on your personal journey .
Wow, this is a really serious issue. Although I have never exp. incests I have dear close ones to me, have and it is devastating. It saddens me that abuse can be damaging to the brain, but it is not surprising. Any severe traumatic event will have a serious effect on the brain and the psyche and it takes a strong support group, treatment and spiritual care to recover.
All of your comments are precious to me; I survived 7 yrs. of being sexually molested and harassed. If what I went through can help others, it makes the grief alot more bearable.
Thank you so much for writing this article it is a real eye opener and has helped me feel connected to someone who has experinced similar things to myself just by reading it.
I was sexually abused by my father and it went on for 24 years. I also experinced SRA and suffer now as an adult with dissociative idenitity disorder.
The damage feels ireversable and am not sure how i am suposed to come to terms with what happend i feel quite hopeless at the moment and alone.
I want to get better but ive been trying to recover now for the last ten years and i feel that i cant go on anymore like this the pain is unbearable tonight.
i feel so alone
The isolation is horrible; I really feel for you. That is why I wrote lake of Shame. I had barely told anyone and after I published my book (all 96 pages of it.ha} I felt so much better and more intregated., not so "floaty" and kind of detached. You can email me and talk any time. I have a mentor named Erin who listens to me on my bad days. It makes a difference!
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you can check out my book and my FB Page Can You Hear Me Now? is a journey thru the life of an abused child. Yur article in fact explains alot to me as to why i have to take care of myself. Get sleep, eat right, try to get a little exercise. Turns out my therapist was ahead of her time. She said, you will always have to take care of yourself in an attempt to keep your past at bay. i'vee had years and years of just get over it! I try, and on a bad day it sneaks in. thank you for writing this! Annie
Thank you, Annie--yes, we need to keep stress DOWN; our precious inside kids have been through alot!
hmmm that is really useful and alarming information
its a benefial such persons who perform sextual activity in childhood, thanx for sharing that information
Very alarming and thought provoking case study! Thanks for sharing your experience I m sure all our psychiatric friends will be interested in learning about this subject and how it's effects our social care system. A very interesting and educational piece of information for everybody who is involved in the care and support of people who have or are experiencing mental health problem.
Thank you for your insights--I really appreciate hearing this! Have a lovely weekend!
My sister adopted three girls who were physically and sexually abused. They are all trying to deal with the effects of the abuse. As they reach their teenage years, it is difficult. One daughter cannot talk well at all and stutters quite a bit. We are all trying to help the girls have a better experience in this life. Bless you.
Yes, it is very very difficult to "undo" the damage. Even the most loving home can't always repair the void.Your sister is a brave and noble person for taking on such a challenge.
"I'm not hiding from life...I'm healing from it."
thanks for this hub and for this wonderful quote
As a survivor of severe emotional and physical abuse my whole life has been a journey of healing
I am now trying to help other adult survivors through my textile artwork. Bless You
Fascinating and disturbing article, yet explains so much. I crave my quiet down time each day. I love your explanation.
Even more profound, your article and the research support the existence of dissociative identity disorder and how the amnesia prevents memories for decades. Using your statistic of 40 million victims impacted by incest or childhood sexual abuse...where the child was under 6 years old when the abuse began, the odds the child develops the defense mechanism of DID increases.
"Research" would have us believe that DID is so rare, yet it would correlate in some way to the number of childhood abuse victims.
Thanks for your most enlightening and helpful article.
Thank you for your lovely feedback; yes, it does explain alot. At times I feel like a single parent with a disturbed little girl clinging to my back.
Wow, GarnetBird! I am so glad you found me. I needed this. I have just recently discovered that the little girl never grew up, I guess she's still waiting to be rescued, but my journey is better knowing that I can "heal from it" I have been turning into a recluse lately! Thank you for a great hub!
GarnetBird, thank you for writing this hub and sharing your information and a bit of your story (which took great courage). I am not an incest victim. But I am a victim of a horrible sexual assault at age 4. I blocked it until age 43. Then my world came crashing down. PTSD is still with me, but I am getting a little repreive the last few months and hope it lasts. I think PTSD is the most devastating mental illness to live through. I am bipolar also, and as awful as it is, I will take it any day over PTSD and the reason for it.
You mentioned some comments from well-meaning friends and family members. I have had very close friends say, well, I was molested too when I was _ years old. I don't let it bother me. It was a long time ago, and I have moved on. This leaves me feeling stupid and weak and that their is something wrong with me for hurting and being in so much turmoil over it.
However, in spite of the fact that I am still in the process of healing, I finally got to the place in therapy where I realized that Yes, I was a victim, but I don't have to remain a victim. That is sure easier said than done, but that is my goal, to stop being a vicitm. It is a process and take time. People need to give us time. Your information on the brain shrinkage for sexual abuse vicitms. I am sure there is truth to that, but I have seen in researching the human brain and mental disorders and the like, that intense, prolonged stress will cause the brain problems. It is usually this kind of prolonged stress that triggers many mental illnesses. I have noticed some concerns with my memory and cognizant abilities (very mildly). I don't know if its the mental illnesses themselves, or the medication. But I think my first priority would be to heal my soul from the devastating effects of my trauma and the resulting PTSD. Great Hub. Voted up and useful. You are a good writer and it is clear you research to get information. That's important. God bless you GB.
Your response is so encouraging and validating...thank you for being so caring!!We must be patient with ourselves and other trauma survivors. Some people are more sensitive than others; we all have different pain thresholds, for instance.
Great hub and very good info on this subject. Keep up the great work.
Thank you for your kind comment. We all need encouragement these days!
Some victims I have met have survived by really detaching from their past..not all of us can do this. My symptoms got horrible about 4 years ago when we moved to a place where some of my most horrific memories had been buried..the shame and fear came back and I wrote my book to purge myself.
I still have symptoms and triggers...writing the book helped, but as all abuse survivors can attest, we have to live one day at a time.
Thanks for posting this. I am a survivor of rape/sexual assault. My middle and high school friends helped me a lot. For a while, I forgot about it but later realized with the help of my friends that I was in fact: sexually assaulted as a child and in college too. I am also a survivor of domestic violence from both my parents. If you ever have an article on Psychopathy and Sociopathy, I would definitely read it. I really enjoyed your piece of "6 Signs He's a Pathological Liar". I'm still recovering from 20+ years of domestic violence and psychological abuse. I'll be turning 22 in January 2011. I truly appreciate everything you have done thus far.
I am curious about the repeat repeat rate of molested children becoming the molesters in their adult years. Can you point me in the direction of where I could find a relevant study?
Try going to google and typing in Crime stats/child molestors/repeat offenders. Thank you for your lovely comments--be good to yourself!
I am NOT surprised, thank you so much for writing this.
Thank you for reading this.
Find a therapist who can teach you about Cognitive Therapy. Forty-two years after Viet Nam I was diagnosed with PTSD. Twelve weeks changed my outlook and my life. There is ALWAYS hope AND YOU deserve it.
Thank you--I have a therapist, but I can't see him as often as I like due to the fact my insurance won't pay for it. So glad you had a positive experience!
Hi, I just want to say that the information that you posted is excellent and very informative..., I always thought that child sex abuse does affect the brain and that just explains even more as to why they say that Depression is a Medical condition, and how child sex abuse can cause neurological damage, lately I've been reading about CRP(Chronic Reverse Polarity) and how stress or something as traumatic as child sex abuse can cause this where, the polarity gets reversed in the body and how it can cause people to self-sabotage...., It's just a thought...
I have so much to learn..., But overall you did a great job...., Keep me posted
THANK you for your feedback; I learned from this. Sometimes it feels like a roller coaster inside, and other times a dull numbness. Stress makes everything worse, of course, so survivors must find a way to keep their life balanced.
I found it comforting to read this. I am in counselling once a week and occupational therapy many times a week. I have to have a lot of time alone or I don't cope at all. I had an extremely traumatic childhood with many events one after the other and never any time without. I find it hard to feel safe. It has affected my life immensly. I struggle but keep trying. I have ptsd and anorexia. I found art :) Other people just dont understand. Its always the comment that its in the past. I wish it was that easy :( Thanks for your article as it made me feel a bit kinder to myself for how I live my life right now and before. You really summed up the complexity of surviving child abuse. Great article :)
I loved your response! I am experiencing the need for soltitude. Right now, my "bitter half"works at night, so my only down time is bedtime. It's not working at all for me. I miss being alone and not having to explain myself all the time to someone alot less sensitive. You take care and Bless you for reading..remember you're not hiding, your healing!
Great hub I can completely identify with the experiences and the fact that there is scientific validation for what is going on with me is promising.
Yes, it is--how many of us have heard, "Just get over it?"
Thank you for your work and information which was valuable for my new Hub. Happy Holidays.
I would have to agree with this information. My son was progressing wonderful and reaching childhood milestones in a timely and appropriate manner. When he started to be sexually abused by his biological father there was major mental, behavior and educational regression. My oldest son is a giant myraid of mental, behavior and educational disability diagnoses. When looking at the timeline it can be tracked directly back to that abuse period.
Wow, I am so sorry-it amazes me how lightly these predators take their actions. I have worked with abused children and teens and have seen the horrific damage it has done. Have a lovely New Year and thanks for your comment!
hi.iwas sexually abused by my father when i was little ,it happened when we lived in australia ,im now in england but when i was 18 i went to the police and they said they couldnt do anything as it happened in another country id have to go back there to press charges,all my life ive suffered panic attacks n depression n self harm,im now 43,and aggrophobic and i just get told to forget it by family members as its in the past now,ive chose bad men all my life as ive felt thats all im worth,my children were taken into care because of what they were witnessing(my ex beating me up)i just feel alone in this,my father died years ago which made it worse as now i cant confront him,ive had many shrinks but still cant speak about what he actually did to me in detail,i only wish is that if theres a hell then he is there.and i hate the fact that he was cremated as id love to be about to stamp on his grave and curse at it.silly really,anyway i loved your artical.thanks
Thank you so much for your comments--my own panic attacks became worse as I aged--something I had not prepared for. I had somehow split away from the memory of the abuse at a young age and it took nearly 40 yrs to re-confront the damage. If you email me your address I will mail you a copy of my true story (paperback) lake of Shame. Email me at Bearauburn@aol.com. Hugs to you,
Garnet
I myself have had these experiences. I have been practicing alternative healing for 19 years now and taken myself on a healing journey along the way. It is possible to help a brain that has been damaged by stress....perhaps the readers would benefit from Trauma Releasing Exercises (TRE): A revolutionary new method for stress/trauma recovery by David Berceli - This book is a must for those with lots of stress and fear. Very helpful, simple and effective. Also, the Amen Clinic does a lot of work with people with various types of brain damage and injury to improve and restore the brain through nutrition, meditation and exercises and sometimes medication if necessary. Thank you for your article.....I think if people knew what it was like to live in a body that responds so rapidly and strongly to stress they might be kinder.......
This sounds wonderful--I will have to really look into this! Writing my book and describing the incest was my own way of fighting back and it helped alot. Daily exercises for this condition would be a God-send!
hi GarnetBird........TRE really helps rewire the neuro-circuitry...i think you will like it.....how easy it is to use and how effective. David Bercelli based the exercises on what he learned from doing trauma counseling in war torn countries..very interesting. Blessings!
I'll have to look into this--and thank you!!!
i wrote this poem about my life,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,by Mandy Aeris Ashton on Saturday, 09 May 2009 at 14:49
she hides under the bed,
silently watching the door.
he comes and drags her out
and lays with her as he has done before
her body defiled,her innocence taken.
no one to hear,no one to save her.
she cries herself to sleep,praying she will never awaken.
he buys her sweets,hoping she will stay silent.
he takes what he wants and leaves her shaken,
her heart is breaking,he is very violent.
she grows up big,but her spirit is small and dim
and the men she chooses are very much like him.
they hit,they punch and shout and swear,
but they cant reach her soul,
its no longer there.
babies will soon come,but soon they will go,
to a far away place that she will never know.
she is very much older now,so alone,so afraid.her heart will never heal,
being born was the price she paid.
by mandy ashton, life experience
So true and moving! Keep writing Mandy!
hi ,garnet,thanks,ive often thought about getting the poem published but wouldnt have a clue about how to do it....an earlier writer mentioned flash backs,as well as sexual abuse i also suffered physical abuse from my father,when i was 9 i was asked to peel sum potatos,and after i did i got the strap off him because id dropped peelings on the floor and ever since then every time i peel potatoes i always look on the floor to see if id dropped any,and i always did,he was still getting to me after all these years,and i always cried after then a few months ago i threw thew all the peelings on the floor and nothing bad happened,and i felt a bit better and i no longer look on the floor after peeling,but thats just 1 step forward.theres alot more,i did c a physcologist that delt in incest but found it hard to say the words out loud,he wanted me to go into detail.i cant just yet,maybe never.speak soon.xmandyx
I am now using Vanilla Cream aroma oil around the house to keep bad memories from triggering..I wonder how many Incest survivors might profit from doing that? The scent is reassuring to my "inside kids" as they call them. Take care,
Gloria
The good news in all this is that the hippocampus has the capacity to regenerate neurons, so there is hope for recovery. In addition, therapy can help a person learn to identify triggers and learn new ways to cope with stress and triggers. Therapy can be a long and painful process, but PTSD is treatable. It's important that a therapist work with the person on developing coping skills and learning to regulate emotions before digging into trauma memories, especially when substance abuse and other dangerous behaviors are involved, or if the person is not currently safe. Hopefully, understanding the damage will help motivate a person with PTSD to get treatment rather than feel hopeless, helpless and discouraged. Sadly, there are people who will use this knowledge as a legal defense for reckless and irresponsible behavior, claiming their PTSD made them do it. It's my understanding though that the "burning bed" defense is rarely upheld in court. Thanks for an interesting and well written hub GarnetBird....... interesting discussion in the comments, too:)
Thank you--this info. is really vital to many readers!!
I have found the most amazing coping skills from a local Incest Survivors Group, which I belong to. They have potlucks for survivors where they all color together and allow themselves to feel like children in positive playful ways...it really works!!!My main defense was to write a book (Lake of Shame) about my incest experiences, as a type of Cognitive Therapy. It really helped me to get it on paper and have others relate to it and comment. It was so validating after all the years of secrecy and protecting the family from what I call "the terrible truth."
I agree with you about coping skills. Music is one of mine (karaoke) I sing everyday and used to be hired to sing at Weddings, etc./happy upbeat songs from the 1960's seem to really keep me calm and happy.
This article has really helped me. And, all of the comments. I felt very isolated bc well meaning people, people who are supposed to love you say such dumb things like, "get over it", "Simply Be Happy", and "you are choosing to be miserable." I found your page when I was looking for ways to get over flashbacks. Thank you so much. The flashbacks always come at the worst possible times and I do believe stress is a trigger.Do you think vanilla aroma oil will really help? I know smells trigger alot of things.I may try it.
I have to keep things calm and safe-I loved your comment as the day you left this comment I had just received a disturbing email from a relative who has found out about my book on incest. Apparently, she feels by sending me religious devotionals in the mail she can help me forget about the incest her Uncle perpetuated on me for 7 years--and help me to be nicer. We HAVE to stand up for ourselves as we were unprotected as children. Brain damage from this kind of abuse is very real. It is not "all in your head." I have flashbacks, too, and found other stimuli such as a song I really love, or a pleasant smell, can blunt the edge of it. God bless you, and thank you for commenting!
I am posting one of my favorite soothing passtimes to help trauma and stress: watch a MOVIE that you loved when you were younger and felt safe. I put them in my VCR and my inside "kids" relax, and all comfort flows. Some of my favorite "comfort" movies are, To Kill a Mockingbird with Gregory Peck, Dead Ringer with Bette Davis (A movie I loved to watch with my Grandmother) and
Bye Bye Birdie with Ann Margaret (I danced and sang to it when I was very young and ended up going into community theatre later on).I hope this helps someone!
Thank you very much for posting this. This helps explain a lot of things about me that I thought was odd. Now I know although the situations I was in was odd or bad that me as person am not.
THANK you for commenting--INCEST causes such complex problems, down the road...if the general public only knew what a mess it stirs up. At best I manage moods and symptoms, and try to be productive. Take care!
I'am already a teenager right now but still remember what happend to me when I was 4.. Now I'm having these problems like nervous mannerisms flashbacks and nightmares I even panic while in sleep.. I want to be treated but don't know how..
Is there anyway you can get some counseling? I cannot afford any more cognitive therapy which is why I wrote my book, as talking and telling are valuable things to help recovery. I am always here for you if you want to email.I, too, sometimes have disturbing dreams and find that soothing music or even a radio in the room on low keeps my dream time more serene.Thank you for emailing--take care! If there is an Incest Survivors Annoymous group in your area, it might be a good idea to give them a call.
Hi GarnetBird,
I loved the comparison at the end of your article to injured athletes, and how they are hailed as heroes for the little triumphs that they accomplish, to the lack of that same support and cheering-on for people who were abused. If only people knew what a triumph it is for some of us just to be able to put a load of laundry in the machine for a wash. Instead of seeing that triumph, they see that we were too "lazy" to take it out of the drier.
I even see myself as lazy at times, when I go days in such a state of depression from recalled memories, or a nightmare, or just the general blackness that can follow one around for weeks or months at a time. Now, I can look at the situation in a new light and cheer myself on for the little steps I take at my own pace. "Yay! I cleaned off my end table by my chair!" or Yay! I dusted the TV stand today!" Thanks for that image!
Joni Lynelle
Excellent hub on extremely important subject. Thanks for sharing this with us! Voted up!
THANK you for reading and commenting--the terrible thing about this kind of brain damage is that it is possibly being ignored., or unrecognized. On my bad days I feel like I am so numb I am literally moving under water while the rest of the world is alive and active. Very disturbing., but writing about this subject has really provided a form of therapy for me. Take care and thank you!
This was very informative and shocking! I can't believe such an act can actually harm or even damage the memory part of my brain. One of the way I dealt with my problems as a child is something called EFT. I'm not sure if many people know what that is, but it's effective and it works!
I would love to know more about it. (EFT) I recall being somewhat shocked, when I was working in the mental health field. They showed us actual MRIs of brains that were "schzoid affective disorder"and the scans showed that their brain lobes actually changed in size and SHAPE.Kind of scary. Thanks for reading!
There are very possitive effects too although it can take many many years for these to surface. Take heart, be sure and don't give up...:-).
Thank you and Have a wonderful Christmas--it does get easier..I feel light years better today than I did 5 years ago..
humans always coming up with somethhing
Thank you for sharing this wonderful article. I am an incest survivor and I can relate to the need for "downtime" from life. I use to think if I could heal "physically" it would be over but the reality is that the years of living in constant fear will impact the way my mind will age. So at 40 I make a very conscious and determined effort to strength my mind with exercise, routinely seeing a therapist, taking my medicines and treating myself with love and kindness. We can't let our abusers ever win! Keep on thriving my fellow survivor.
Thank you so much for this article! It hit home on so many levels that I am just shocked but at the same time I feel vindicated! I am a survivor...but I have to start my survival every morning when I wake up. I am 49 and have just had suppressed memories just pop up out of NO where recently. Hard to explain to your children why you are the way you are. I literally have to just withdraw from my life several times a yr. just to try to cope with feelings and thoughts that I don't understand. Thank you so much!!! Big warm hugs to you and all the others here who are survivors!
Thank you Keila!!! Your comment made my day. I have very good days and then I'll have kind of a dismal regression day when I feel like a dirty, abused child again. it helps to know your own triggers and avoid things that make you relive the incident. HUGS HUGS to you too!!!
ALL of you are heroes as my son is who is recovering from terrible incest. My heart goes out to you all, especially Mark Strong who needs urgent help.C.B.T.good and support groups.I saw an add. for rewiring the brain and would love to know more about it.My sonis labelled with a Neurological disease.The medical profession still don't seem to accept that the sexual abuse is the cause of his stress and have him on 2 types of tables, one antipsychotic. My son hasn't the courage at present to report(even though I've proof) and court would be so stressful.He doesn't want to talk about it but he may with therapist. The support he is getting from Health Board is excellent. Good luck all you survivors and stay in the present moment as much as you can. Love and light to GB and all
I'm feeling a little less crazy now, thank you.
That is the worst part of it, I think, Shainia..the predators who rob us of our sense of safety and innocence seem to leave us all feeling isolated and crazy. We need to put all of the shame back on the prepretrator and off of ourselves!
Thank you. This is very helpful. I was trying to follow the link at the end of the article but am getting a 404 error. It the study still available? Thank you.
I don't think so; I have been trying to locate it myself. Try, Trauma-brain damage-and see what pops up. Sometimes newer studies pop up also. Thank you!!
Hello,
I hold 2 BA's, was a professional, still am a professional mother. But I AM ANGRY!!!! My life is GONE, everything I worked for, car, house, 32,000, six figure income. Now, I learn that it's because I had the crap knocked out of me as a child. And what an innocent child I was. Blonde hair, Blue Eyes, Adopted and beat by my alcoholic mother - so so so bad. I wished things were different, but their not. WE NEED PROFESSIONALS!!!, Not another idiot Dr to tell us to pop a Prozac. I loved my old life, International Buyer, Computer Administrator, driving, flying, hotels, kids, riding a bike.....W-A-L-K-I-N-G People just don't know how lucky they are. And, now to be treated like a thief because I am hungry.
I think more care is needed to how this information is presented. What I'm hearing is this: sexual abuse *can* cause brain damage and/or scarring. Lots of tricky scientific variables are in the mix that saying it *does* cause brain damage is a little reckless IMO. I know people who survived incest, who received 5 years of therapy on a weekly basis, and now are getting along just fine.
I think it's as tragic as incest itself, for an incest survivor does not make going to therapy regularly, on a weekly basis, until therapy is completed as THE absolute #1 priority of their life. Healing is absolutely possible and achievable.
P.S. PTDS may cause abnormalities (reduced volume) of the hippocampus. That is not brain "damage" per se. And brain injuries do not imply they are permanent either. Also reduced volume in the hippocampus can be increased back up to 50%. Also, the Yale guy who wrote the article you're referring to seems to be interested in promoting a drug paroxetine. So his article may be beefed up with "alarming" information to serve his pharmaceutical sales agenda. Just something to think about ...
Thank you. I am not a Doctor or therapist, but I have worked with them as a Primary Counselor in a Hospital Setting for many years-many of my patients had oddly shaped brains which showed up on the scans.. they were Schizo-affective..I remember my Program Director, Dr. Sowell, commenting on the fact that many mental diseases are inherited, progressive and tend to cycle up and down.
Voted awesome! The brain has a way to deal with things in order for the survivor to survive in the best way possible. The strongest have done this with DID, but some were not mentally up to the challenge. Keep on doing what you are doing, as support will help a lot, as well as adequate rest vitamins, etc.
THANK YOU for your wonderful comment/I sometimes receive comments that seem to be more related to "hate mail" than hubbing. You made my day!!(I delete the really abusive and harsh comments; had one this morning that really shocked me..)
People fear what they don't understand many times.
So true!!
I agree with you aviannovice!
I was sexually abused as a teen by my step-dad and my mom believed him over me and they're still married. It seems as if I'm regressing. I had severe stuttering problem as a child but got better as a teen but now I'm 21 and it's getting worse and now I can't remember anything, severe memory loss. Also, I feel like I'm losing control of thoughts. I can't seem to put my thoughts together. Like my brain is thinking faster than my mouth can move. I don't understand.
Can you see a doctor or therapist? I totally feel what you're going through as I had similar situations arise. I was diagnosed with PTSD 6 yrs ago and still have days when it is difficult to feel "normal.." Be good to yourself..joining an Incest Survivors Support Group helped me--take care and thank you for your comment.
thanks @GarnetBird
Just checking to see if I'm signed up correctly.
My husbands niece of 34 yrs. blew the lid on her Father's incestuous abuse of her since she was a very young child. Her Psychiatrist has brought her back to the age of six but they really don't know when it started, it stopped when she was 16. He also abused my husbands sister from the age of 11 until 16. Our niece would have been 3 yrs when this other abuse finished but this is only speculation to think he was abusing his daughter since so young an age. She was very badly affected but her symptoms only seemed to surface when she gave birth to her one and only son. She can't have any more children as physically she was so damaged they had to remove her womb after childbirth. One Dr. seemed to grasp that all was not right during her labour and eventually put it to her if she had been abused as a child. She kept all of this secret for a further 5 yrs, but it was the trigger to the beginning of prescribed drug abuse, self-harming, drinking, suicide attempts, one almost successful where she was hospitalised for 4 months in a psychiatric hosp. She had finally told her Mom only to be beaten by both of her parents and locked in a bedroom, mobile phone taken away from her until she made a further supposed attempt on her life just to get out, they were forced to call the ambulance. Her Mom denies everything and put her own twist on this awful night. She pretends she does not believe her and has chosen her husband over her daughter. None of her family have contact with her and though they loved her little boy, they also turned their back on him. My husbands sister, on hearing of this story is now bringing a case against him as she feels so guilty for not having spoken up years ago. She now is 46 yrs.
Having read your article has been so enlightening as over the past 4 years I am ashamed to say that while trying to offer support to the younger woman I have of late become impatient with her. I couldn't understand why she won't dress, preferring to slop around in her pj's most of the time. Her husband does all the cooking, despite doing long hours as a policeman, he also does all the entertaining of their young son, taking him bowling, to the cinema etc. I can now understand that more than likely her brain is "different". She constantly ridicules people which I was having difficulty with and had started to distance myself. I now intend to rectify this and change my whole thinking process. Thank you.
I was not sexually abused, but physically and mentally abused by my mother growing up. I found out recently that my step-father sexually abused my youngest sister for years. It's so heart wrenching, but she is finding help and healing. My heart goes out to all of you and your family and friends suffering from abuse of any kind.
Dealing with my own abuse issues I was able to share with her the benefits of Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR). I no longer have nightmares that I'd wake up screaming from or multiple migraines since doing this form a therapy. She recently started EMDR and is finding help and relief. If our brains can change so drastically from abuse then why can't it change for the better with therapy dealing with reprocessing these memories. I know first hand how it can help. Thank you for writing such an informative and caring hub.
This is so intense..I am honored that you would share this with me. There are so many tragic cases like this around us. Cognitive therapy worked best for me in the past.{.I am a talker} and also drawing helped. It is sad that without adequate insurance one simply cannot afford a good therapist.
You are right about insurance being a factor in getting much needed help. The EMDR treatment I referred to in my note above does not take years or even months like talk therapy often can. I was feeling relief after on a few 40-50 minute sessions.
Reading this made me a little bit better. Thank you. I know I'm not losing my mind but I have trouble explaining myself.
I wrote a hub called "Healing Trauma with EMDR" where I detail my experience with EMDR. Go to EMDR.com for even more information. My feeling is if one person is helped reading what's helped me and others it's worth getting the information out their.
Thank you Green art!! I am looking forward to reading it.
Thank you, thank you, thank you! I was molested by a friend of the family's son, and I repressed the memory for so long that I only know that it happened sometime between 10 and 12. I believe it probably happened closer to 12 because I had a few unexplained seizures, but I honest have no idea. Because of this, I ended up feeling at the age of 12 that I wanted to be used in almost a sexual slave kind of way, and I never understood why. The molestation made masturbation such an ugly thing to me, and I was very sexually frustrated throughout my teens and early 20s. I've had a lot of self-sabotaging behaviors that I've had to deal with the consequences of, but I've also gotten better and have managed to not self-sabotage in my current relationship as this happens to be the healthiest relationship I've ever had. It scares me because I know that I can completely trust him, but I still in many ways expect to be hurt and will get myself worked into tears and depression over nothing. When I'm especially stressed, I get nauseating visions of sexual encounters happening in my family that never happened, but I can't make them go away as trying to almost makes them worse. There will be times in my life where I don't even think about anything, and other times where it seems to be my daily torture. It took me over 10 years to even say anything to my family because I always blamed myself. I've never even admitted out loud, outside of my head, the fact that these weird encounters invade my brain and harass me. I've always felt really dirty inside because of it because it's not something I want, but it's just an image that will not leave me. I also had to deal with a lot of emotional abuse because my mother was very cruel and one of those screamers who would talk over you. I hate myself because I love my father and brother, but I never let them get too close to me in terms of affection because of these false images I keep getting, even though growing up I never felt threatened. I once almost hurt my brother because of this all by grabbing his arm in a dark room, and I almost made him touch my chest, but then I stopped myself. I don't know if this is just the difference between testing boundaries or if this is because of what happened to me. I feel like if anything, I've been getting worse in some ways. I've never been able to talk to anyone about all of my darkest secrets for the fear of judgment and the lack of means to access the help. This is a lot to dump out on your page, but I feel that by bearing my soul, maybe I'll regain it back. Once again, thank you so much. I don't know if you'll know exactly how much this article meant to me, but it's made me feel less shame.
I feel for you and your journey of healing..my true healing took place when I wrote about the years I was molested and put the shame back on the perpetrator and off of myself..God bless you..
lauralolita 2 years ago
Wow, that is alarming! Good hub, Thanks